So often I am asked about my journey, how do I do what I do? How do I seem to keep it all together? I typically laugh and say, “Ummmm I don’t have it all together”
So as I was going to register my girls at school I just had a flashback moment of what the school year was like a year ago and then two years ago. My mindset was different in the past, I was excited, I was ecstatic about the school-year. However, this year was different this year I was nervous, I was scared, I was afraid.
Why you might ask?
There was a time before that my girls attended this very same school and the people there knew me as a different person, a different job role, different lifestyle and more. I was married with two girls, I was like supermom to them, athletic trainer, fitness guru and more. In their eyes I was all put together but in my head I was a mess. I felt like I had created this personification that I had everything under control, that I had everything together. Well fast forward….as the years continue to roll by I realized that I had to strip down, I had to show who I truly was. It wasn’t as if I was different but my life had changed, I wasn’t this married woman, well put together as I thought. I was running ragged…I was taking on two girls by myself financially and physically. I was trying to be that same person from before, I was trying to live that lifestyle that just wasn’t there anymore. I had to take a reality check, I had to meet myself from where I was in my life. I had to stop putting this shield up, putting this personification of who I wasn’t.
And then Yoga happen… I began my journey with @yogaoneclt with my dear friend and we took on the Assistant Training workshop/course. I realized in that course what Baron Baptiste says so eloquently…”Come as you are not as you think you should be” I knew that there was so much more to me. It was deep inside; I had lived a life that was other people’s lives. I was afraid to show who I was at that moment, I was afraid of what others would think of me. I was afraid that others would see that I didn’t have it all together, I was a mess, I wasn’t in the place that I use to be. Then the more that I surrounded myself with people who all had a story, who all were coming from various “Life happens” backgrounds, I knew that I too could strip myself from this personification of “Being a Person that everyone thinks I should be” or carrying this look that says I have it all together but in reality I didn’t. In reality I was a woman searching for answers, searching for True Happiness in which I realized later it was inside of me all along. I was transforming into this beautiful blossom.
I was blossoming…Why? Because I finally decided to rid myself of the What I should look Like…I began to Show Up as Who I was.. I began to truly spread my wings and come into the person that I was born to be. I began to find strength in self..inner strength in who I was born to be.
Come as you are at this moment…Come from within, shine bright of who you are today. The more that I have experienced in life, the more that I have truly found my inner strength, I found strength in self because there is no more mask, no more falseness…it is simply just me…Straight raw version of me. I am happy to be that person. I know that this thing called “Life” is shaping a molding me and showing the world what a BADASS I am. So if that means that I don’t look like, talk like or act like the person that people want to see then they don’t need to be in my circle because I am going to keep showing up as ME…Big Brown, Big Thighs, Big lips, Big smile African Queen that I am!!!!! Show up as who YOU ARE today and Who you want to BE!!!!!!
Strength in Self