Wow those two words are so BOLD and mean so much. What you put behind these two words can shape and mold you into whoever you want or desire to be. As I sit here and ponder about what these two words meant to me in 2015 it quickly reminds me of how far I have come as a woman. There are three words or phrases that come to my mind of what I felt like on last year that started with these bold two words. I AM alone, I AM unhappy, I AM Hurt then I realized that when I changed my mindset and the way I was wording things I began to realize that my new space was…I AM LOVED, I AM JOY, I AM OF STRENGTH.
I AM LOVED
For some reason when I would say this to myself I would just cry. I would feel so alone and hurt. Why? I couldn’t understand why I was feeling that way, I was finally out of a situation that I didn’t want to be in but yet I still was sad. I realize that it was because I felt like a failure, I felt defeated, I felt as if I couldn’t do it on my own….. Fast-forward to today. I can replace this “I AM” with I AM Strong. Being a single mother truly has shown me how Strong I am and how blessed I am. I stop categorizing myself as a single mother and starting to say I am a mother who is strong, fierce, independent and well educated. I stop labeling myself as if it is negative thing. What I do know in this second and moment that I am a blessed mother of two beautiful girls who look up to me, cherish me and love me. And that is enough for me:)
I AM JOY
This was a big one I had to battle. Why was I unhappy? I was finally out of a situation that was making me unhappy but yet I was still unhappy. I figured out I was unhappy not of my situation but of the unknown. I didn’t how things were going to turn out. I had to stop looking back and looking too far ahead. I had to learn how to live in the moment. I had to learn that it is okay not to not be okay. I also learned that it is okay if it doesn’t happen the way it should happen. You regroup, detour or find a new path. Once I stop trying to control my life and the changes that I was going through I began to become happier not of the situation but of how I reacted and addressed my life each and everyday. I finally began LIVING.
I AM of STRENGTH
In 2016, I suffered from a bad injury to my left foot and I was physically hurt. Well if you have ever been injured before it is very mental. Why? because if you love to do something and one day you can’t do it anymore then it can become depressing. Running as I realized was my stress reliever, it was a way where I could escape from the world and just be. Well when I realized I couldn’t do that anymore I had to learn how to re-program my mind. I truly devoted my time to meditation. I really started to focus on changing my mindset. I realize in changing my mindset that it not only helped me to mentally recover from that injury but also mentally recover from LIFE.
So just because your I AM may not be uplifting at this point or moment in time. Think about it, why is that your I AM? Can anything be done to change that? If so what…. then change it. I can tell you one thing that can change it…is how you label it and put it. Realize that what you put behind those two words, I AM will come into reality. So speak positivity, speak life and speak happiness.
Love and Light,